Harvard: "Funeral homes to replace sari-sari stores if Duterte wins"
CAMBRIDGE - A study done by a Harvard University panel predicts that 88.35% of sari-sari stores will be replaced by funeral parlors if Rodrigo "Rody" Roa Duterte wins the 2016 presidential race.


In an independent study done by a group of students and professors currently staying in the Philippines, it was concluded that 88.35% of sari-sari stores in the country will be replaced by funeral parlors.

What's a "Sari-sari store"?

From Wikipedia: "A sari-sari store is a convenience store found in the Philippines. The word sari-sari is Tagalog meaning "variety". Such stores form an important economic and social location in a Filipino community."

Sari-sari stores are mostly manned by only one person at the window unlike convenience stores such as 7-11 and Mini Mart which are open to customers. Sari-sari stores are seen as often as every 3-4 houses in most neighborhoods especially in rural areas where franchises of bigger convenience stores are not as profitable.

In the study by the Harvard University panel, they also explained that Filipinos will begin to see an increase in profit with sales of second-hand clothes "especially those who have drug dealers for friends." An increase of ukay-ukay stalls should be expected since dead criminal relatives will have items left for sale.

The study also included a detailed explanation on how prisons and jails will be less profitable and most prison guards might be laid off as a result. "It's okay, they can setup their own funeral parlor. Embalming is tough to get into, but easy to perfect. It's a very simple process once you get through that phase where you're disgusted at the dead bodies," said one of the Ivy League professors.

2016 Presidential Elections

Duterte recently filed his COC for presidency after backing out once. He is one of the big names along with Jejomar Binay, Miriam Defensor-Santiago, Grace Poe and Mar Roxas. Duterte has the biggest following in social media audiences after the positive impact he had in the improvement of Davao, a city in which he served as a mayor and other political positions for more than two decades.

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